The Taste of India!

This one is for all the gourmets. They are ‘for’ the food, ‘by’ the food, and ‘of’ the food! They think of food; talk of food; and dream of food. In a nutshell, they live for food! And which food will be better than the Indian thali?

The Indian thali- from north to south and east to west- is balanced with spices, health, aroma, and taste. The spices are its strength and the main reason for its taste, aroma, and health. You can prepare hundred varieties of dishes with just the same ingredients.

Here I talk of one variety which I cherish eating a lot- the great Indian chaat aka street food originated in Uttar Pradesh. They are full of spices and the Chinese burger or the Italian pizza and pasta can never beat them! Be it Delhi’s chatpati aalo-chaat, Gujarat’s sweet dhokla, Maharashtra’s vada-pao, Rajasthan’s exquisite daal-bati, or Kerala’s lite sambhar-vada, I enjoy eating all. No confusion in my mind! I have never had any problem with the dahi-bhallas or the theplas, and the khakras. Bhelpuri is easy to prepare and the tastiest of all. No rainy season is complete without pakodas and no breakfast tastier than poha. I love the shape of samosa and the exquisite stuffing in matar-kachaudi. Every chaat corner in Delhi will necessarily have Papadi and tikki - with yummy ‘hare-dhaniye-ki-chuttney’! And I bet no one can deny eating Raj kachori and pav-bhaji. Chole-kulche is the second most favorite Punjabi dish beaten only by everyone’s favorite- Rajma-chawal.

Coco-cola, Pepsi, Thumps up, etc cannot even compete with the desi aam-panna, bel-sharbat, chhaachh, and lassi. They are naturally refreshing and have no side-effects.

See the variety! The Indian food is always delicious and every gourmet’s pleasure. I am already mouth-watered and imagining myself eating gol-guppas- my favorite! 

Reconsider your definition

This one is for all who think I write only one kind of posts on my blog. They call my posts ‘emo’ based. When I ask them for their definition of the word ‘emotional’, they reply that they are full of sadness and grief. My answer to them- kindly reconsider your definition of the word ‘emotional’.

The word ‘emotion’ is extremely diverse. It encompasses all the feelings a human being possesses. I enlist here a few which I can think of in 15 seconds: happiness, excitement, romance, love, hope, peace, confidence, distrust, calmness, imagination, jealousy, revenge, terror, scare, embarrassment, determination, amusement, loneliness, nervousness, motivation, serenity, awe, guilt, hatred, anger, compassion, irritation, and shame. And of course there may be, I am sure, hundreds of others naming which my dictionary fails. See the area occupied by the word ‘emotion’!

So all ‘emo’ based people, kindly update your vocabulary with this new definition of the word emotion.

Something is wrong

Watching television with mummy and rajma-chawal is a great fun. She has got some serials on her list and watches them daily. One fine evening I joined her while I was getting bored. I found them entertaining and my conclusion after watching them for about a month or so is – seriously, something is wrong. Here I list some things that, I find, are wrong with the Indian TV.

1. Same story, different serials! Yes. On comparing some of the TV serials I realized that they have, directly or indirectly, just the same story. Howsoever middle class the family may be they will always have a sprawling house set in the backdrop of either lush green fields of Punjab, or remote areas of Rajasthan, Haryana, or Madhya Pradesh or in the elite societies of Delhi and Mumbai. The female protagonist of the story would be a lively lower middle class girl belonging to some small holy city in India who would value relations more than anything else in this world. The male protagonist of the story would be a mamma’s boy and would hardly get any dialogues to deliver. The mother-in-law would be a homely lady, would be always looking for a suitable match for her dear son, and would shut up the poor father-in-law. The family would be a joint family of some 40-50 members. Of them, the sisters-in-law would be the villains and rest 40-45 members would not be serving any purpose and would be there just to give a feel of the joint family. Male and female protagonists will meet all of a sudden, will fall in love, and then will move forward for marriage which will meet vehement opposition from our custom-ridden mother-in-law. After some 100 episodes of requests, pleas, and tears, our mother-in-law will agree to accept the poor daughter-in-law only to make her life a living hell. And this story would be stretched for an indefinite period of time.

Please! Move out of the saas-bahu concept. Where are serials showcasing working women? We need working mothers-in-law too! We would definitely admire seasons of the same serial rather than it being stretched for 6-7 years. Is anyone listening?

2. Where is originality? Switch to Disney channel. Almost 80% of the serials televised on it are a simple remake of some foreign serials. Adding to the list are some popular TV shows like Indian Idol, Master Chef, etc. They are nothing but Indian remakes of some foreign version. I give them 1 on 5 in comparison.   

3. Flood of award shows! There used to be a time when only IIFA rocked Bollywood and it used to be easy to remember who bagged which award. But today! Today almost every TV channel, and almost every organization related to TV organizes its award show and I DO NOT REMEMBER WHO GOT WHAT!

4. Negativity sells. TV story writers are perhaps masters of human psychology. This is why they know what attracts people the most. Negative news sells the most and so today almost every TV channel has at least one TV serial similar to ‘Crime Patrol’. Beware! Blood is in your hands!

5. Cannot tolerate this comedy! Yes today’s comedy shows which claim to be ‘made for family’ are neither ‘by family’ nor ‘for family’. In fact, they are ‘far’ from the family. The jokes cracked are simply disgusting and most embarrassing. Intolerable!

6. Are reality shows real? My answer- NO! I simply do not find them to be! From episode 1 to the grand finale, every word, every emotion, and every expression is scripted. And who knows even the winner is pre-decided!

7. Wildlife on Discovery. There used to be a time when nuclear science, space science, astronomy, physics, wizards and witches, ghosts, exotic places on the earth, etc ruled the channel Discovery. Every hour would be filled with anxiety and interest. And it was, once upon a time, my favorite TV channel. Now? Now, I hate watching it because I hate watching discovery wildlife.

8. Beep. There are a few TV channels which target young population. Serials broadcasted on them contain highly offensive words which they beep out. However the left out content is still anti-social, abusive, disrespectful, and embarrassing.

The list is growing! And I notice that I have listed enough of the problems. TV serial makers should not forget that TV is the most effective media of communication. It influences each and every sector of society; each and every species of human being. They can be tools of human development or weapons of mass destruction. They can create a society or break it. So they should be extremely cautious before showcasing anything on it.

Childhood games that I used to play

Today is not the Children’s day. Nor is it a day dedicated specially to kids. Today is just a normal 6^th Sunday of the year 2013; same moribund and monotonous Sunday which comes with a periodicity of 7 days. Nothing special about it.

I am lying in my bed waiting for Dispirin to show its effects against my severe head-ache. 10 seconds have passed. No effect yet. I assure myself that in another 10 seconds its effects will be visible; but all in vain. All of a sudden, out of nowhere, I hear some bells ringing. They compound my head–ache. Annoyed, I peep through the curtains of my bedside window only to find a man, perhaps in his sixties, selling balloons of various colors- blue, yellow, red, green, purple, white, orange, etc - and significant three dimensional shapes. 8-10 kids probably of 5-6 years surround him with happiness. Instantly I recall my almost forgotten fact – ‘balloons always fascinate me’.

As a kid I would always cherish playing with balloons. Any sort of them would make me happy. My grandfather used to get them for me every alternate day or so. He perhaps knew about my unconditional love for colorful balloons! Thinking of balloons takes me back to my childhood memories. Adrenaline gushes through my blood and look I am there- 8 years old playing with my friends.

I remember we used to play a lot. We had games with almost each and every letter of English alphabet. ‘Aao milo sheelo shalo’, ‘antakshari’, ‘barf pani’, badminton, bingo, corner-corner, chain-chain, carom, doctor-doctor, ‘ghar-ghar’, hide and seek, ‘imli’, ‘jab Miss Mary’, ‘Khul ja sim sim’, ‘kho-kho’, ‘loha-lakkad’, ‘ludo’, ‘name place animal thing’, ‘posam paa’, ‘pithu’, red letter, ‘raja mantri chor sipahi’, snakes and ladders, ‘staapu’, ‘tip-tip-top’, ‘uunch-neech’, etc.

‘Snakes and ladders’ was one of my favorites. I remember how I hated the snake at number 98. For 95% of the times I played snakes and ladders, it took me back to number 2. Very bad snake! And ‘name place animal thing’! I still can’t think of any animal with alphabet ‘X’! I remember some 10-12 years ago TV serial ‘khul ja sim sim’ was a big hit. Such was its craze that every kid in my colony had organized it at his/her place! Next, we used to play chain-chain madly. Our chains would grow longer and longer till it was no more possible for us to run. And ‘tip-tip-top’! I still do not know where to find turquoise, magenta, and cyan. How can I forget carom? It was a tough task making a cover for the queen. ‘Hide and seek’, ‘dog in the bone’ ‘corner-corner’, ‘red letter’, ‘posam paa’, etc were so much fun to play. I still remember the ‘posam paa’ song. How can I fail to mention ‘antakshari’? We would sing for hours. ‘Ghar-ghar’ and ‘doctor-doctor’ played with my friends are still fresh in my memories.

It is five minutes since I had Dispirin. The balloon man rings bells again and I am back in the present. Adrenaline gush is at its peak. And my head-ache is over. I feel rejuvenated all together. Such is the impact of childhood memories! Long live childhood!  

printf ("Error: you are a girl ! \n");

#include <stdio.h>
#include <string.h>
#define GIRL 0
#define BOY 1
int main()
{

     int girlorboy = 0;
     char nation[100], ans;
     printf("Welcome on planet earth ! Enter your nation in block letters:\t");
     scanf("%s\n", nation);
     printf("Please enter your gender in block letters:\t");
     scanf("%d\n", &girlorboy);
     switch (girlorboy)
     {
          case BOY:
          {
     while( strcmp( nation, "NULL") != 0) ) //any nation
      {
         printf("You are heartily welcome! Facilities which you will enjoy on planet earth are:\n\n");
       printf("1.   Good education\n");
       printf("2.   Relaxed societal norms\n");
       printf("3.   Will never be advised on the way you should dress\n");
       printf("4.   You will never be forced to learn cooking\n");
       printf("5.   Can have any code of conduct. Nobody will ever have any problem with that\n");
       printf("6.   Will never have to compromise your career with marriage\n");
       printf("7.   Won't have to leave your house after marriage\n");
       printf("8.   Won't be burnt alive or tortured for dowry\n");
       printf("9.   Will be free to go anywhere and do WHATEVER you want\n");
       printf("10. Will be absolutely free to tease a girl and if she protests, you can force yourself upon her\n");
       break;
       }/* while( strcmp( nation, "NULL") != 0) ) ends*/
           }/*case BOY ends*/
        case GIRL:
         {
            if( strcmp( nation, "INDIA") == 0) //in India
           {
     perror("Fatal error: you are a girl ! Wanna continue (y/n)?:\t");
     scanf("%c\n", &ans);
     if (ans == 'y')
    {
       printf("You will be considered nothing but an object of desire\n");
       printf("Additional attrocities which you will bear here are:\n\n");
       printf("1.   Female foeticide\n");
       printf("2.   May or may not get good education; depends on your luck!\n");
       printf("3.   Harshest possible societal norms will be imposed on you and you will HAVE TO  FOLLOW them\n");
       printf("4.   Will always be reminded that you are a guest in your own house and will have to leave it once you get married\n");
       printf("5.   You won't be allowed to step out alone\n");
       printf("6.   Will not have any right to choose your life partner on your own\n");
       printf("7.   Will always be taught to consider family more important than your career\n");
       printf("8.   'Teaching' will be the only career you'll be allowed to pursue after marriage\n");
       printf("9.   You yourself will be responsible for anything wrong that happens to you\n");
       printf("10.  Adding to it, you will have to bear dowry torture and domestic violence in marriage\n");
       printf("11.  Society will never support you and your life will be full of compromises\n");
       System_abort("All because you are a girl\n");
    }/* if (ans == 'y') ends */
           
          }/* if( strcmp( nation, "INDIA") == 0) ends*/
          else
          {
     printf("Cannot say\n");
     break;
           }

       }/* case GIRL ends*/

   }/* switch(girlorboy) ends*/

     return 0;

}/* main function ends*/