If you exist, then please listen….

While writing this, my eyes are completely filled with tears, my mind is weeping and my heart is broken. I am sitting alone in my room and thinking of the girl who is completely unknown to me, whom I have never met before, and about whose appearance I can only imagine. But it seems I have known for long because I can feel her pain, I can understand what trauma she is going through and how much struggle she is facing in her life. Here I go…

The other day my mom told me about Ms. Kaurobi, her colleague in school. She is an unmarried Bengali girl, perhaps 27 years of age. Her family includes 3 married sisters and a “before time retired father”. Her mom had succumbed to injuries when she was quite young. Her father had to take retirement before time to get money for treatment of her mother, to get money to marry his 3 daughters, andto get money to get no pension in the future. Kaurobi witnessed all this at a very short age of 15 years and circumstances made her mature before time. They made her self-motivated and determined. Immediately after completing her standard 12^th, she started teaching in a school and till date is doing so. With the salary she gets(10000/- pm perhaps), she is pursuing her graduation, taking care of her father, and meeting all the daily expenditures in this big city Delhi. She also does the complete household work by herself because, of course, she cannot afford hiring a maid. She has an air-conditioner at her 2 room flat but hardly does she puts it ON. Her father is also unemployed. With so many responsibilities on her shoulders and lack of time, it isn’t any wonder that she never ever brings complete and nutritious lunch in the school—either roti-achaar, or plain chawal, DAILY. (Her favorite dishes are fish and chawal.) She neither has a friend nor anyone who can help her, with whom she can share her feelings. All that she feels is loneliness…  

When principal of the school scolds her for petty issues, when senior teachers make fun of her attire, she does not reply anything!!! Finding an opportunity and taking into belief Ms. Kaurobi, my mom asked her the reason of her ever increasing silence. And she weepingly replied--- “I am needy, ma’am. So I dare not say anything which can threaten my job in this school.” This was the complete answer to all her problems and she narrated all what had happened in her life to my mom. Since then my mom has been sharing half lunch with her.

I salute the courage with which she is facing all problems in her life. I don’t believe in god, I have certain enmity with Him but because people say god exists and always solves the problems of anyone who prays to Him, I leave my ego aside and pray to you god with folded hands—Please help her. Don’t be so rude. Give her some happiness; happiness which she deserves. I leave aside all my hatred towards you, and pray--- Pleassssse help her. Give her the courage to face all sorts of problems. Have mercy on her.

Saying thanks would simply not be enough…

This article of mine is dedicated to my mom and dad. Since the day I was born, they have supported me by all sorts. Their love is selfless, and their care priceless.

I have seen my dad struggling and rising from the post of clerk in a bank, where he was supposed to work for eight hours in a STANDING position, to the position of bank manager. I have seen him spending more than half of his salary on my education. I have seen him struggling hard to accommodate a house of his own. It’s not at all easy to live in a city like Delhi with only one person earning. I have seen him fighting against all the oddities and still calm. I have seen him not sharing his sorrow with anyone. Howsoever harsh the situation might be, he had never made us feel the burden of the situation. I remember my dad gifting me walkman, carom, chess, laptop, mobile phone, etc. on my birthdays. I remember how he would teach me mathematics, and scold me sometimes even when he couldn’t get the answer!  If I calculate, then till now (that is 20 years), he has spend approximately 60-70 lakhs only on me- my education, my clothes, my food, etc, etc, etc.  In this amount he would have easily accommodated one or two houses. But he did not do it…!  And it is not only the question of money. Along with lakhs of amount, what he has given to me is immense love, care, and affection--- which I think would value more than trillions and zillions.

I have seen my mom leaving her job (for 20 years!!!) only to bring me up. I can easily recall how she would take care of me whenever I was ill. She would not sleep! I remember how she would play with me. I remember my mom getting at 5 in the morning only to get me ready for my 7am school, only to give me good breakfast, and only to make me smile. I never needed any tuition because she was an excellent tutor. It’s only because of her that today my basics are strong. I remember my mom wiping out my tears whenever I was sad. I remember how she would make me participate in various fancy dress competitions and (hats off to her), I would always win…! I remember how she was always on her toes to admit me to some useful summer vacation courses every year. Just to name a few-swimming, dancing, piano, dholak, mehendi, computer courses, etc, etc, I remember how during exams she would make us complete our syllabus in the day itself so that we may not have to study till late in the night. I remember how more than me, my mom was anxious in knowing my board exam result. I remember how she had jumped with joy when she came to know that I had got 93 marks in Hindi subject in my class X boards  (and I was expecting only 70!!!), which, of course, she had taught to me. I remember how she would make all types of dishes- north Indian, south Indian, Chinese, etc, etc,- at home so that we may not have to go to restaurants. My birthday falls on chilling and teeth biting day of 5^th January. I remember we did not have any maid at our house. So during my birthday parties she alone would have to prepare good food and then clean the utensils in almost freezing water. I remember she was the only one who argued with my dad and convinced him so because I wanted to undergo coaching in my class 11^th. She did not care about the fees!!! It was 21000/-, a big amount for us….

I do not need words to tell them that I am sad; they can judge it by my silence itself- a situation where my friends might fail. Thankfully, I don’t need to ask them sorry; they forgive me always.  I feel happy that I have someone whom I can talk to at any point of the day. I don’t need appointments to meet them or disturb them or even call them. I am fortunate enough to have parents who have never ever forced their wishes upon me. I get before I wish. They have fulfilled all my wishes. They gave me good name, good education, and all before I could tell them that I want it!

Today I am 100% sure that to whichever corner of the world I may go, my parents will always be there beside me. Unlike friends, they wouldn’t think of the telephone bill and will talk to me endlessly on phone whether it is local, or STD, or ISD. I might sometimes feel alone or ignored with my friends, but I feel special in the company of my parents. AND MY LITTLE SISTER HAS A SPECIAL ROLE TO PLAY IN IT.

To all that my parents have done for me, I would be extremely happy even if I am able to do 0.00001% of it for them. Their debt is the only debt in this world which, I think, can never be re-payed. Parents take care of their children in the best possible manner, fighting against all the odds. They support them emotionally, physically, and socially. Saying thanks to what they have done would simply not be enough….